I cried today. They were not tears of sadness, but I felt embarrassed anyway. I had thought I would be able to maintain my composure until I was alone, but it didn’t happen that way. Instead, I let them fall as my mentor teacher wrapped me in a hug. Today was an emotional day but in all the best ways.
At the end of each of my last classes, I had students fill out an evaluation of me and then gave them each a treat bag, as mentioned in my previous post. I was extremely proud of the reactions to the personal notes. The sixth grade students were all excited. The eighth grade boys who had given me trouble suddenly adopted a new attitude. The seventh graders read theirs aloud and pretended to act like it wasn’t as meaningful as it really was. Sometimes, students just need to be told that they are appreciated, that the individuals that they are represent more than just a robot who follows a schedule each and every day. Later in the day, I read cards signed by my students, each signing in their own unique way. That didn’t push me over the edge, though.
As I prepared to head to dinner with my supervisor before the school holiday concert, I decided to open the gift my mentor teacher had given me. What I found was a card holding cash for my trip home and a scarf she bought from the high school craft fair. I couldn’t hold it all in anymore. I let the tears fall.
The amazing time I have spent as a student teacher cannot be fully expressed in words, but I will try my best. In the beginning, I was terrified. I didn’t think I was doing the right thing, and I worried about having to make my way through 15 weeks. Now, though, I couldn’t feel anymore like I am in the right place. The students I have gotten to work with are inspiring and intelligent, both traits they may not recognize in themselves just yet. My mentor teacher is a successful woman, the best at what she does, and she cares deeply for those close to her. It’s an understatement to say that I will miss them all. After waking up every morning, prepared for what the day will bring in the classroom, I won’t be used to starting a new routine. I won’t get to see the familiar faces every morning that smile and make me laugh with just a word. I won’t get to watch as they mess up the skeleton yet again or make a breakthrough with the Codea app. Over these past few months, they have all become a part of my family, and I don’t know what I will do without them. I fully intend to keep in touch, checking up on how they are every now and then. I don’t know yet whether I’ll return to the area any time soon, but it warms my heart to hear them beg me to stay. It’s impossible to guess how much of an impact a teacher can have on the lives of his or her students and how that can be equally reciprocated unless you experience it yourself. If and when I eventually end up working with another group of students, I won’t forget these, but I will be happy to try, yet again, to help shape lives of the younger generation. It’s what I love to do.
athoughtfulmind 