The Deciding Factor

Yesterday afternoon, as I sat in the eerily quiet testing center, I felt confident. The amount of questions I answered using the knowledge I have gained, rather than the hope that my guess will be correct, increased. As the screen popped up to reveal how well I did, I was positive that I would at least meet the qualifying score this time around. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I fell 9 points short of the score required in the state I am receiving certification in. I was only 5 points short for the state where I live. No matter how close I got, though, if I haven’t met the expectations, it means nothing.

I understand and completely agree with testing the content knowledge of an aspiring teacher. Someone who wants to teach science should be able to interpret a food web or name the organelles involved in photosynthesis. However, I do not agree with a standardized test serving as the deciding factor. Over the past 14 weeks, I have grown to love teaching. When I’m in the classroom, explaining to students what lab they will get to conduct, I feel like I’m right where I should be. But it could all be taken away if I fail to prove that I know enough about my subject area to teach it.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh. Standardized tests are the deciding factor for a lot of different pathways, whether it’s to become a certified teacher or be able to apply to certain graduate schools. They are the norm, and plenty of other people have taken them and succeeded. Are those good enough reasons to keep the system as it is, though? How many people have their desires unfulfilled because the memorization of facts isn’t their forte? How many have gone on to become certified to teach because they can pass off as experts in content knowledge but know very little about classroom management? It is an imperfect system, and I believe we have become blind to the problems it has. Many would ask: Why fix what isn’t broken? But it is. It is broken.

I wish I could go straight to the Department of Education and explain my concerns to them and feel like they are actually listening. I wish I could become certified based more on my abilities in the classroom rather than on a test score. But the world doesn’t seem to work that way. As much as I would like to give up, tell myself that me not passing must be a sign that I shouldn’t be certified, I won’t. I’ll spend more time studying, attempting to cram as much information in my head as I can, information that I may never use during my career as a teacher but must know in order to appease those in higher power. I’ll pay the fee yet again, or I may try to apply for a waiver. Should I fall short the third time around, I can’t guarantee I will continue to try. But I will try my hardest to succeed in what matters to me. And I hope that others who fall between the cracks as I have will do the same.

A System of Frustration

How many educators are actually content with the United States Department of Education? How many go home after a long day and praise the people who ask for more work hours than they are willing to pay? I can say, without even being a certified teacher yet, that I would not be someone doing either of those things.

The reason behind typing this post is in the form of tears that welled in my eyes over the confusion and frustration caused by attempting to file paperwork for subbing. What I assumed would be a simple matter of getting fingerprints taken and filling out an application to be given to the district I want to sub in is anything but. Before I am able to sub for my mentor teacher, I have to send my paperwork to the State and await approval, which could take up to 2 weeks. Then, I am supposed to meet with someone that I do not know who is to finalize my paperwork and give written approval for me to sub. Had I known any of this, I would have begun the process weeks ago. Of course, I want to blame the certification program at my school and get angry at them for not knowing all of this and putting it in the handbook, but I feel like that wouldn’t do me any good. I like the supervisors I have through the program. Maybe they didn’t know that the process had become so complicated. Perhaps I should have done this weeks ago anyway and avoided the negative feelings I have now. Despite anything I could have done to avoid this anger, though, I believe I would have still come up with something to be mad at the system about.

As much as I am enjoying my student teaching experience, I can’t help but get irked over thinking about how many rules and regulations there are to follow in order to teach in a public school. It bothers me that teachers I work with, teachers I’ve come to realize actually care very much about educating young people, could be bogged down by the system at any moment. There are so many restrictions, which may depend upon location, and all I can think about is how much I would love to just teach these same students in a completely different way.

Today, I sat in on some Parent/Teacher Conferences, and I was saddened by the predicament of one girl. She is becoming bored in her math class, and her mom is concerned that she is not able to move into a higher level. While I could understand the reasoning behind the class dwelling on topics she may already know in order to get them to stick with her, I wondered what her personal expectations of school are. Does she expect teachers to be able to accommodate her individual needs, to help her succeed and move on to high school and college? Does she expect there to be consequences if she is going through school without learning anything new? Does she feel like the system is failing her? Because that’s how I felt in those moments, listening to the teachers speak and watching her expression stay neutral.

While this post is purely a rant in order to vent my feelings, I do wonder, every day now, how we could make a difference. What can we do as educators to help students as much as possible without having to seek some kind of approval? Can’t we just ask them what they want to learn, how they want to learn it, and take it from there? I wish it were that simple. And despite these frustrations I have, or perhaps because of them, I am still anxious to be a teacher. I want to have a hand in educating young people about science. As long as I remember that, I can get better at standing against the system.